Miss
Marcie M. Farsea -Corporate Secretary (Chair)
Miss
Alison Cooke -Assistant to the Corporate Secretary (Minutes)
John
-Production Manager
Miss
Jennifer Cummings -Manager Legal Department
Giovanni
Parducci -Chief Engineer
Miss
Mary Redcord –CFO -(telecommute from Vancouver Island while at Sea)
Miss
Hillary Wong -Manager Sales
Miss
Suzzie Quirt -Warehouse Manager
Willy
VanderStadt -Engineering Technician
Miss
Marjorie Payne -Staff Nurse
INTRODUCTION
The
CEO welcomed members back from vacation and advised that 2007 was another
great year with several achievements. He congratulated the Corporate
Secretary Miss Marcie M. Farsea on the successful publishing of her first
book YOUR
VERY FIRST BILLION. “It’s the best book on business that I have
ever read" said Capt Ron. The CEO then congratulated himself for giving
Miss Farsea the assignment and saidthat
“I didn’t get to where I am today by not recognizing talent when I see
it”. John the Production Manager said that " he had read the book and it was
the most practical book on increasing production that he had ever read." Mr.
Giovanni Parducci our Chief Engineer said “Marcie’s book is fantastic”
and he especially liked the several references to engineering it in. Miss
Jennifer Cummings our Legal Manager said that she was” very happy with the
insight displayed in the book and would be eternally grateful to the
Corporate Secretary for her decision to follow her legal advice by changing
certain names and events to avoid any legal liability” Jennifer went on to
say –looking at the CEO that “things around here would be a lot better
if certain staff listened and followed her advice when it came to matters of
a legal nature”. Then as to reduce any chance of misunderstanding she
pointed at Capt Ron and sat down.
CANADIANBULLSHIT.COM
The
CEO reported on progress on one of his “pet projects” CanadianBullshit.com.”
We started this site as a public service to reduce the amount of bullshit
which is considerable and progress has been excellent. We quickly became the
largest site of its type in Canada and I am pleased to report
that CanadianBullshit.com. is now the largest of its
type in the world.” General discussion followed and it was decided that
the site was pretty funny but to the point and that anyone reading it would
be entertained and enlightened two of the firm’s main objectives. Suzie
Quirt our Inventory Manager moved that" Capt Ron should be congratulated for
providing the strategic vision on this one." John the Production Manager
withheld unanimous support by noting that "perhaps we should wait a few more
months just in case the CEO got arrested or charged as a result of the
site".
Jennifer Cummings rose on a point of order and pointing at the CEO said “I
told you not to do this” and sat down. Discussion followed and it was
decided that everything considered we should move on to the next agenda
item.
Financial Report
Mary
Redcord CFO gave the financial update. She said “everything was fine”
Mary telecommutes from her sailboat on Vancouver
Island. She
mentioned that the weather in the Haro Straight was pleasant although a bit
windy and she would need to sign off now to take a reef in the main.
Apology
Alison
Cooke offered her apologies for having a bit of a “hissy fit” at the
last meeting and said that normally that wouldn’t have happened but that
day she found the CEO’s request to Miss Farsea to write a comprehensive
book on business and have it ready in a month to be the last straw and she
also apologized to the CEO “for the use of potty talk when describing
him.” Capt Ron said that “he didn’t get to where he was today by not
accepting or giving an apology or two and said that given the circumstances
and Allison’s loyalty to the Corporate Secretary that the outburst if you
could call it that was perfectly OK and not a problem with him”. The
CEO’s unusual humility here struck a cord with the members and they gave
him a short standing ovation.
Health and Welfare
Staff Nurse Marjorie Payne reported that
everyone was healthy. Marjorie reported that she had just finished an
analysis of work absences for 2007 and had noted that some staff were using
the same reason for taking time off. Apparently staff used the reason “my
Dog died” 37% of the time followed by “my cat died”23% and “my
goldfish died “3% and “my pet snake died “1%. Nurse Payne cautioned
the group that the stats would be meaningless if people did not use more
accurate reasons for missing work. Willy Vanderstad rose on a point of order
and explained why he had indicated on his form that his “pet snake had
died” He said that last Tuesday his pet snake had escaped and although he
looked for it for nearly an hour he was unable to locate it. But it was time
to go to work so he got in his new truck and started the drive to work.
Almost immediately he noticed a thumping sound from the back wheel passenger
side. Thinking that it might be a small rock that the tread had picked up he
gunned the engine to try and dislodge it. By this time he was on a major
highway and traveling at over 65 mph and there was nowhere to stop so he
drove on with the thumping noise which at this time was not quite as loud.
When he arrived at work to his horror he found the remains of Brian his pet
snake wrapped around the tire and axle. At this point Willy was overcome
with emotion and some of the girls started to cry. Capt Ron laughed about
the snake being called Brian and made a joke about an ex Prime Minister
which nobody got. Nurse Payne administered smelling salts to Willy and a
couple of the girls (Jennifer and Suzzie took him to the staff lounge then
the pub to recover). Nurse Payne said that upon further reflection it would
be ok for members to place whatever they wanted on the absence forms.
Engineering Project
The
CEO introduced the topic of how industry had failed the average citizen by
not designing an all purpose vehicle that could provide transportation on
the ground, water and snow. This confused members at first and John the
Production Manager made a circular motion with his right index finger
pointing at his head. The CEO pressed on and gradually the group began to
understand what he was talking about. The Chief Engineer seemed wary of the
idea at first but warmed up to it as the CEO pointed out to be truly mobile
these days a person needed a car, a truck, an ATV, a motorcycle, a personal
watercraft and a snow machine. Capt Ron said that this was stupid and he
didn’t get to where he was today by not understanding stupid. This caused
somewhat of a shocked reaction to the group as all waited for John the
Production Manager to say something. Later in the Pub he said that he too
was in shock because for the first time in a long time he was beginning to
understand what the CEO was talking about. After some discussion it was
decided to fund this project for a preliminary review. The Chief Engineer
was given the assignment.
Confidential Assignment.
The
CEO hand delivered a sealed envelope to the Chief Engineer. It was sealed
with a blob of red wax and an old fashioned seal with a large letter R on
it. The CEO announced that as a result of things he had learned when he last
gave the Corporate Secretary a writing assignment for the book that he had
decided to deliver similar assignments using this technique rather than
announcing them at the Board meeting and perhaps instigating a repeat
performance (looking at the Assistant to the Corporate Secretary and
smiling). (Nervous laughter from the members. )
Adjournment
John
the Production Manager moved that the meeting be adjourned seconded by the
Assistant to the Corporate Secretary. Passed.
The
CEO raised a point of order however the Chair advised him that since the
meeting had been adjourned he would need to wait until the next meeting.
Book Signing
Marcie
kindly signed copies of her book YOUR
VERY FIRST BILLION for members and provided each with a copy.